I think it’s safe to say that all of us would like to improve ourselves and our circumstances. Our idea of what that may look like or ultimately what that means is unique to each of us, but the fundamental truth is that you and everyone you see is on a journey to achieve progress in some form or another. Some people may be trying to lose weight so that they can improve their confidence and their health. Others may be pursuing financial gains to improve their standard of living. Others may be trying to work on their emotional intelligence and mindfulness to improve their happiness and relationships with others. The ability to objectively audit ourselves, identify an area we feel needs to be improved, and then find a sustained motivation to change who we are is a special trait that only human beings have and are capable of utilizing. Dale Carnegie once wrote, “The desire to be great is what separates us from the animals and created civilization.” Whether it’s the desire to be great, desire to be important, or the desire to be better matters little. The point is that all of us have something within us that hungers for achievement. Monkeys do not sit around and chastise themselves for being lazy any more than your dog will develop depression over not looking as good as the neighbor’s dog.

This obsessive self-analysis can sometimes create unhealthy habits or destructive behaviors, but if channeled correctly they can provide the catalyst to great changes. The problem is that most of our ideas for self-improvement are entirely self-serving. From the examples I gave above, the motivation and the outcome are both rooted in a self-centered objective. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve a facet of your life by and for yourself, but I have noticed over the past few years that what you do for others without expectation of receiving anything in return actually has the biggest benefit to you. It seems void of logic and perhaps a bit counter intuitive, but it has nevertheless proven itself true over and over again in my life. It is my belief that through civic duty and charitable donations – through taking an active beneficial role in the world around you and assisting those who need help – you feed your self-esteem and find purpose beyond your own selfish desires that can carry you much, much further in life than your ordinary individual goals ever could.

This concept of “doing well by doing good” was first embedded in my mind through reading the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin. Funny enough, while still in lockdown in NYC during the height of the pandemic, I was sitting in my room one day, holding a hundred-dollar bill in my hand and studying the face of the man on it intently. It occurred to me that I knew a bit about Benjamin Franklin, but not enough to understand why he was chosen as one of only two non-presidents to be featured on American bills – and of all the notable figures in American history, he was chosen to be put on the most valuable piece of currency in the world. I knew he was one of the Founding Fathers of the United States of America and I remembered the infamous kite story from grade school – but I had no idea that he was also a brilliant inventor at the level I soon discovered, as well as an accomplished author and businessman, and statesman.

I wanted to know why he was chosen to grace the front of that c-note in my hand and that was the only impetus I had for ordering the book. What I discovered in the pages was an awe-inspiring story of a man who came from practically nothing and journeyed to America before the thought of a sovereign nation on this continent was ever conceptualized and who went on to become one of the most important and influential human beings to have ever lived. Benjamin Franklin invented everything from bifocal lenses to the lightning rod to public libraries to the fire department. As astonishing as it was to think a man who lived over 250 years ago invented so many things we still use and take for granted today, by far his most important accomplishment was his contribution to drafting the Declaration of Independence. Every American alive today who possesses the chance to improve their circumstances through their own free will owes a debt of gratitude to him and his relentlessly determined mind. He accomplished much more in his personal life as well, and as I read about this brilliant man, I realized that if someone living so long ago with much less opportunity and resources at his disposal could contribute so much to civilization and permeate history with his ideas and inventions, then I could at least hold myself to building a very suitable life by my own individual standards.

What really stood out about him though was that he championed his active citizenship above all else. His ingenuity was nothing more than a product of his genuine curiousness and ability to transform his findings into useful and practical ideas that could benefit humanity. He built schools for the poor, fed the hungry, and went out of his way to make purposeful positions to those in his community that were otherwise forgotten or looked down on. Benjamin Franklin believed that our interior wellness can and should be connected to our actions aimed at bettering the world around us. He believed in capitalism and free enterprise and was a successful man in his time – but believed that the beauty of free enterprise is that it allows every individual to add to his own happiness while also adding to the happiness of others. By being free to provide as much value to other people as you possibly can, you can make money when others voluntarily pay for that value. He believed that this pursuit of building wealth through true entrepreneurship is a fundamental human freedom and that those who enjoy the riches of their successful endeavors should then take on a larger responsibility to give back to those less fortunate in meaningful ways. My favorite quote of his from that autobiography that has reshaped my way of thinking is, “I would rather it be said ‘He lived usefully’ than ‘He died rich.’”

It is important to note, however, that you do not need to have excessive financial means to contribute to your community or to help others in meaningful ways. Nor do you need to make a massive impact for a large amount of people right away in order to experience the benefits of giving or to make a real difference in the world. Your time is more valuable than money ever will be, and thus, giving it to worthy causes is (and always should be) looked at as the most generous gift of all. It is necessary to support organizations that are doing good work on the ground financially, but from the perspective of healing yourself – of feeling intertwined with the world around you – then there is no substitute to being actively involved in that work in some capacity. To see is to believe – and to meet those who need your help and the ones who have dedicated their lives to helping them will be a much more powerful experience for you. Writing a check or clicking a few buttons will not have the ability to alter your perspective or develop your awareness in the same way… though it is always better than nothing. I recommend a combination of both, but always start with in-person volunteerism when you feel you don’t have enough yet to give by way of money.

Also, helping other people needs to be its own reward in order to work as I am outlining here. If you view it as putting yourself out or detracting from your own goals, then you haven’t figured out who you’re really helping yet. There’s a particular benefit I feel strongly about that can radically improve everybody’s life that directly results from committing to a role of active citizenship. This is the benefit of building your self-esteem and making yourself impervious to outside influences. Getting involved in your immediate community and helping other people who are struggling in an intentional way has the miraculous side effect of completely reshaping the way you view yourself. If you have a poor self-image or think particularly lowly about your personal worth, this is something I highly encourage you to think about. Whether it be a philanthropic endeavor or an environmental one (or perhaps something creative that you think up yourself) it will present a potential turning point to start anew by contributing to a better world around you. Why you ask? Because when you put yourself in a position to wake up in the morning and know that the world is a better place because you’re in it, you take away the ability of other people to damage your self-esteem.

Once you realize that other people can think whatever they like about you and you are capable of remaining whole and staying grounded despite it, the world becomes a lot easier to navigate. Suddenly you free yourself from the mental anguish of living to appease the opinions of other people. You start to feel like there is purpose in your existence and you discover that a large part of the best we can ever do as human beings in the pursuit of lasting happiness is to put effort towards alleviating the suffering of other human beings. Once you are able to move forward with this newfound confidence, it has a funny way of accelerating your success in other avenues of life which then translate to your ability to do even more good for the world. That is a ripple effect I recommend initiating and the only thing required from you in order to drop the first domino is to get out into the world and look for people who are hurting or a problem that is in need of fixing. I assure you that neither is in short supply.

Since being inspired by Benjamin Franklin, I have been able to accomplish more than I ever thought possible on my own path and rather than setting me back from attaining personal milestones, I feel incredibly confident that my philanthropy has propelled me forward. In 2019, before the pandemic started, I made less than $45,000. The following year when the world went to shit and I saw people who had suddenly lost their jobs and been flung into a sea of uncertainty lined up for food and basic necessities, I resolved to start making a difference the best I could. I knew I wouldn’t change the circumstances that led to all the suffering taking place, and I knew that whatever I could do would pale in comparison to the need that existed – but I also knew that allowing those truths to discourage me from taking action would be unacceptable. People needed help and many of those in positions of power who were supposed to be helping them were doing too little too late… or nothing at all. Through generating income with my business and donating money to Feeding America through the first two years of the pandemic, I was able to feed over 150,000 people. That is a significant number for me. It’s only the beginning, and I have a lot of time ahead of me to help many more people, but please understand that you are capable of doing big things when you recognize the pain of other people and decide to do something about it. The best part is that I hurt less myself because of what I did for those people. I also increased my earning potential inexplicably just because I felt I had other people relying on me to keep up and increase my rate of contribution, and the only way to do that without taking food out of my own mouth was to find ways to increase my income – and I did.

Since moving to Charlotte, NC in April of last year, I have started volunteering with an organization called The Relatives that seeks to feed, clothe, and empower children and young adults in underserved communities. I started out with the same mission to feed them by creating “snack packs” which were just one gallon Ziplock bags filled with various imperishable food items like chips, protein bars, fruit snacks, and cookies. I would create the packs in bulk and walk them over to the organization’s resource center and hand deliver them. It allowed me to ingratiate myself with the staff over time and sort of get a feel for what they were doing. In each pack, I would handwrite little notes of encouragement for the recipients, and it added a really personal element to the whole thing. It wasn’t until a year later that I met one of those recipients face-to-face at an event for the organization and she identified me by the snacks I was donating through the program. She looked at me with a big smile and said, “Oh yeah, I know who you are! You always put the fruit snacks in them. It’s a big help to have food I can take home with me. I really appreciate that.” Very few things I have done in my life have brought me more joy than that brief exchange.

I have also started attending mentor events for the young adults aged 17-24 that the organization works with. These are kids that have grown up impoverished, many of whom are actively experiencing homelessness. They come from environments that are dominated by gang violence and hard drug use and void of many opportunities that the rest of us take for granted. Similarly to what I hope to accomplish with this blog for you, dear reader, I am hoping to accomplish with this mentorship program – instill a new mindset shift in some of these young people and spark a desire within them to get out in the world and not accept less than what they’re truly capable of. To see and experience their own worth and to construct a life for themselves using their minds and their willpower. Working hands-on with these kids and hearing their stories sends me home with such a deep appreciation for all I have in my life, all I’ve been able to overcome personally, and allows me to tap into a sense of gratitude that had been absent for the first several decades of my life. It is through this renewed perspective that I empower myself to continue finding ways to have a positive impact on the lives of others and the world around me.

As you can see, although these activities and donations are considered acts of service on my part, they are returning to me the fuel and the inspiration I need to keep progressing in my own life. I hope some of you reading this recognize the truth and the power in this concept and put it to good use for yourself and for all those who need your assistance. Everything you can possibly achieve in your life starts with you, so it only stands to reason that dedicating time and energy to feeding your self-esteem is a very smart thing to do. Self-esteem should not be confused with arrogance or hubris – the delusional self-worth of those who think highly of themselves for having done nothing. Healthy self-esteem is earned, and the only way I’ve discovered that you can actively build it up with your own two hands is by helping other people and doing good things for the world. Little acts of kindness create big changes over time. They also plant seeds of hope in other people and inspire them to amplify the impact. The world can be ugly, but there is no excuse for feeling so demoralized by the situations around us that we absolve our individual responsibility to act towards change and setting things right. Look inward, dig deeper, and find the courage to move forward in the direction you need to go in order to live in a world that you are proud of. Know that there is still good in the world by becoming your own source of proof. Understand that there is nothing wrong with wanting to succeed in life, but that the dominating throughline amongst the most successful and admirable people in history is most often rooted in the desire to give and not to get. Do well by doing good.